Founder
Playing Small vs Playing Big
Playing small is the unconscious pattern of keeping yourself small the moment something threatens to get too big. A ceiling that sabotages your own success, often picked up in the family you grew up in, long before you started your agency. Playing big is the opposite: allowing success instead of pushing it away. In coaching, playing small is the most common diagnosis.
It is completely logical that you do it. Somewhere you picked up that getting too big is dangerous, that being rich is for other people, or not proper, or asking for trouble. That setting does exactly its job. The moment something gets too big, you unconsciously make sure it gets small again: you take the wrong client, you do not dare to name your price, you keep yourself busy with execution work. It is not a character flaw, it is a setting that has not been reprogrammed yet.
Mind what it is not. Playing small is not the same as being modest or careful. Careful is a choice you make consciously, with your eyes open. Playing small is unconscious: you want to be bigger, and still you hit the brakes without noticing. It does not show in what you say, but in what you keep almost doing.
You are about to raise your price, and at the last moment you send the old rate anyway. You finally want to approach that bigger client, and exactly this week you find a good reason to postpone it. Each moment on its own seems logical. Together they form the pattern.
What you do with it: when you catch yourself pulling back, ask what the hidden benefit of staying small is. Because there is a benefit in it, otherwise you would not do it. As long as you stay small, you do not have to prove yourself on a bigger stage, and you cannot really fail. Once you see that benefit, you can reprogram the setting. Because you get what you are on the inside.
Playing small shows up in your numbers before you see it in yourself: in your cash flow and in the thermostat you set. Want to break the pattern? Read about the founder mindset or start with agency coaching.
What is playing small?
Playing small is the unconscious pattern of keeping yourself small the moment something threatens to get too big. You take the wrong client, keep your price low or stay busy with execution work. It is not a character flaw, but a learned setting that often comes from early on.
How do I know if I am playing small?
You want to be bigger, and still you notice yourself pulling back at crucial moments: the big request you avoid, the price you do not dare to name, the visibility you postpone. It is not in what you say, but in what you keep almost doing.
Where does playing small come from?
Often from the family you grew up in: a message that getting too big or too rich is dangerous or not proper, picked up long before you started your agency. The good news is that it is a setting, not a character trait, and a setting can be reprogrammed once you see it.
